On the Written Expression of a Heart's Desire
by Raven's Wolf
Summary: It's been four years since Tal and Milla helped save the world and the worlds of their peoples collided. Now their personal worlds are on a path to inevitable collision. Tal is in love but Milla is unsure. Can the heart of the War-Chief be claimed?
1. Poetic Inspiration

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Disclaimer: I do not own the Seventh Tower.

**On the Written Expression of a Heart's Desire**

Chapter One: Poetic Inspiration

_She was cold as ice, which doesn't surprise_

_In all the dreams where I confessed my mind_

_But here in this life, will she be nice?_

_Or be the reason one more thing dies?_

_Anxiety has stricken me for far too long_

_I dig my grave with each day that passes with words unsaid_

_Will it ever relent, this awful love? _

_If it dies, I with it, to Sun above._

Tal sighed and put down his pen and ink. He wished for what seemed the thousandth time that crafting the perfect words to sort our his dreadful love were as easy as making a stairway of light with sunstone magic. Or perhaps a hand, he thought. That's a bit more challenging. _But at least it's something I can _do!

"The rhythm is a bit off, and surely you can think of something more colorful than that?" Tal groaned, and turned to find his trusty great-uncle at his side. In the dead of night.

"What're you doing here?"

Ebbitt ignored him and continued his harsh critique: "A bit more green perhaps? Some indigo weaves... And I would not read _that _to your dearest, it's certainly not too flattering..."

"Ebbitt, it's not _for _anyone!" Tal cried out, a bit harsher than he had intended. He was grumpy with fatigue.

And who could blame him? He'd been up late each night for weeks. Not due to stress from the recent commotion caused by more free shadows and renegade Chosen and former Underfolk alike - though that was quite enough to worry about. Nor because of the impending amends to the treaty between the castle dwellers and the Icecarls, thanks to loopholes that were almost terribly exploited by a most nasty sort of rebel Icecarl band - though that, also, was _quite _enough to worry about. It wasn't the treaty _itself _that crept into Tal's dreams while he slept or while he was waking. It was the one he would be signing and discussing the treaty _with. _

"Milla does not strike me as the poetic type, either."

"Ebbitt! It's... it's not for Milla. That's ridiculous! This isn't even about me!" Tal crumpled up the parchment he had just soiled with the words of his frustration and tossed it across the small study.

"Flowers would be much better... it's a shame we can't go to Aenir anymore to get any..."

...

The Mountain of Light and the people contained therein were now in the fourth year of the rule of Tal Graile-Rerem, meaning the people of the ice were enjoying their fourth year of rule under the War-Chief Milla Talon-Hand. Peace had been sustained between the two peoples - for the most part - the entire time. Tal had begun to institute a program that was integrating _all _people of the castle into the orders of red through violet, including the Freefolk. Unsurprisingly, many Underfolk were still resistant to the idea, as were a handful of renegade Chosen. Such things kept Tal busy enough, but most of imperial focus went to reinstating the old governing ways that existed in the days of honorable and true emperors and empresses in the Castle. Ebbitt, with Malen, and a team of wise Chosen and a select few Icecarls with exceptional knowledge of creatures of the ice, were busy exploring the Seventh Tower day by day. Its many rooms held more secrets than Aenir itself, it seemed. With every new discovery Tal had enough on his plate to forget any personal life entirely. But the War-Chief of the Icecarls was not so easily forgotten, it seemed.

Tal was blinded. Not by sunstone light as he had been temporarily so many times before. And not by the intense light of the Sun above the Veil. He was blinded by love. Blind, sick, and hopeless. All of these describe his state. This was a love that seemed much more real and powerful than any Sun.

He knew he was in love. What he did not know was how to deal with it. How to cope with it. He and Milla's relationship had changed in a way over the passing of the last four years, but it had mostly just grown as they had. For Tal, it had grown. Into love. He did not know what she thought of him. Not directly, anyway. The best he got were fleeting looks in her eyes and a flash of a smile that he, for the life of him, could make no sense of.

The last time Milla had been at the castle was four months ago. At that time, Tal had attempted to tell her how he felt. But he kept tripping over his words and the result was an awkward situation for all involved. Milla had merely looked at him strangely and left, as always getting to business. To business, to business, Tal thought. If only he could focus on _business._

He had the idea of a poetic confession of his love the hour after she'd left the castle. Of course he couldn't just go running out into the ice alone in search of Milla Talon-Hand and poetically confess his love to her then, though. Oh, he was more than ready to run naked through the ice in search of her, if it came to that – it's just he still had no words to woo her with.

Nothing much had changed in the past four months.

...

Milla had been outraged at the group of her people that had attempted an attack on the castle. Four years ago she would have killed them outright, but she had learned responsibility in her time serving as war-chief. They were tried. They demanded a copy of the peace treaty between the castle dwellers and the Icecarls be brought forth, and the Crones allowed it. They then began attacking the treaty's structure with a legal knowledge and a fury rarely seen in an Icecarl towards anything not involving a battle. In retrospect, it didn't surprise Milla. The treaty was weak, constructed primarily by she and Tal four years ago when they both had little knowledge of politics or ruling. Milla also had little experience in anything remotely close to literature.

As a result of the incident with the treaty, the Crones had contacted Malen and other members of the in-castle embassy and scheduled a date for Milla to arrive to discuss amends to the treaty. To discuss amends to the treaty. With Tal.

Why the "with Tal" part of the whole ordeal stuck out to Milla she did not know. She had learned and changed much in the four years of her rule, and since meeting him, but one thing remained. She would not let herself believe in dependence on anyone. She was an Icecarl – no, the _War-Chief _of _all _Icecarls. She was Milla Talon-Hand, in the line of Danir, since the ruin of the ship.

It wasn't bad, at first. Her first arrival to the castle after the saving of the Veil had arrived a little over a year after she had left. She and Tal met like old friends and their interactions were like they had been when she had left. Happy, friendly. No bitterness. Just old friends, bound by blood. No more.

It seemed the year at work as Emperor and War-Chief had filled their heads with thoughts of things other than each other. But Tal still managed to have thought of Milla every day since she had left. She remembered she had thought of him, too.

_Because he is an old friend. Bound by blood. _She told herself. _No more. _

She had seen Tal more frequently since then, every few months. Though she would not admit it to herself, the pair grew closer with each visit in a way quite unfamiliar to Milla. But then, no endeavors with the boy had been anything but one of a kind, since the beginning. Thus all previous visits could be perceived as normal enough. Except the last one.

The last time Milla was at the castle, four months ago, Tal acted extremely strange. At first Milla almost took offense to the way he was treating her. He seemed to be avoiding her until the end of her visit, when it was time for her to leave. He then embarrassingly called her away from her party of fellow Icecarls for a moment to speak in private. How dare he, she had thought. Not speak to her all week and then distract her from her duty.

The boy had stumbled over his words for a while, then eventually just given her an awkward goodbye. She nodded in farewell, and clapped her fists in salute, and left.

While this incident disturbed her, she and Tal had built enough trust that their friendship had not been harmed. It was just, terribly curious. What hadn't he been able to tell her?

Milla, it seemed, like Tal, was also blind. But she was blind to his love, rather than by it.There was her duty as the War-Chief. That was all there was. That was all there ever could be. Her people, her way of life – all she had ever known – depended on it.

...


	2. Impending Dawn

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Disclaimer: I do not own the Seventh Tower.

Chapter Two: Impending Dawn

War-Chief Milla Talon-Hand's days were filled with duties caused by the temporary melting of the ice long after it had re-frozen. The melting of the ice and therefore the very land inhabited by the Icecarls had changed hunting ground rights immensely. Milla had to personally re-navigate the world, assessing the damage caused by the fraying of the veil, hear and see to every case of hunting disputes, and then be the primary acting force in resolving them. She came up with a system that was simple enough that she hoped would be fair to all parties involved, but sometimes – most times – they didn't see it that way. It was impossible to keep everyone happy, she knew, but she tried. She tried to keep everyone happy but herself, she thought.

_Where did that thought come from?_

She took plenty of time indulging her own wishes – too much time, she told herself. Her duty as War-Chief must become all she wanted to do. For the most part, a position of power and respect always had been what she wanted.

Of course some people on the ice could not be accounted for, or did not wish to remain under the system of the Crones and the War-Chief. That was where the duties of the Shield Maidens came in, aside from dealing with creatures of the ice that caused enough trouble. But all these things were usual concerns that the Crones and Shield Maidens saw too. Milla's true purpose, the thing that made her most valuable to the Icecarls was her experience with the people of the Mountain of Light. In the new age of peace between the two peoples, it was Milla alone whom initially had the most experience. Thus her most eventful duties as the new War-Chief were days spent in the Castle. Forming governing bodies, working out negotiations – and now peace treaty amends.

It was good, she thought, that the two very different worlds could come together.

A young Shield Maiden approached her. Milla had been standing on the deck of her ship, watching as it sailed with the wind towards the Ruin Ship and the Mountain of Light. The Shield Maiden clapped her fists in salute. "War-Chief."

"Yes, Kurrsa?" Milla asked, addressing the girl.

"We will be at the Ruin Ship before the next sleep. We shall sleep there, then tomorrow head into the Mountain of Light."

Milla nodded her acknowledgment, and Kurrsa resumed her other duties on the ship.

Tomorrow, Milla thought. Tomorrow to the Mountain of Light.

...

Tal heard a soft knock on the door and sighed. How did they keep finding him?

"Come in!" Tal, unlike virtually every other known emperor or empress in the Castle, did not spend all of his time in the imperial quarters on the Violet level. Actually, his proper bedroom was now there, but he had rooms back home in the Orange level, in addition to a wing where he kept a private library and study in colorless quarters near Violet – where most of his stabs at poetry had been taking place. He also, in times of stress, sought the quiet of random rooms at random levels all throughout the castle - as he had now.

It was Malen who entered. "Sorry to disturb you, Tal, but I have important news."

"Oh?" It was the occasional visit from Malen that Tal did not mind disturbing him, though it was usually about some new discovery in the Seventh Tower that Ebbitt hadn't been excited enough about to tell Tal himself. That meant Malen's visits were either about some magic in the Castle, or the most powerful magic in Tal's life. Malen was his only connection to the Icecarls, and therefore to Milla.

"Yes. Milla and her party will be arriving at the Ruin Ship tonight. They will be here to begin discussing the treaty tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Suddenly Tal longed for the hours upon hours it took to navigate the heat tunnels and former Underfolk levels in order to enter the Castle. For a split second he had a crazy idea to close the gate... Might not be good for public relations, though.

"Thank you." Was all he could manage in reply. Of course he wanted to see Milla again, more than anything. But he had promised himself that the next time he did, he would have the words to tell her exactly how he felt.

He still didn't.

Malen turned to go, but stopped for a second. "Oh, and Tal?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes had the hint of a mischievous smile, made all the more curious by the natural brightness of the Crone's eyes. "Do take care to shave?"

Tal suddenly faced his reflection in the mirror sitting on a table nearby. He _was_ quite scruffy, and his bloodshot eyes were highlighted by dark rings, another consequence of late nights.

"Uhm... thanks."

"You must be presentable." Tal nodded. "Oh, and Tal?"

"Yes, Malen?" he was growing a bit impatient of this young Crone embarrassing the Emperor of the Castle.

"Ebbitt was right. A little more color. Some indigo weaves... a layer of orange, perhaps..." She winked at him, but he did not notice. He had quickly turned to hide the flush of his face and cover up the parchment before him. He began to stammer something out, but the young Crone had already gone.

Tal sighed. What's become of me?, he wondered.

_Unrequited love is the bane of all I am_

_Words to ask for you are slipping from my hand_

_A simple hope that no one knows has come now before your sight_

_Despite the dark and shadow hoards, you are the dawn to endless night_

He crumpled up his spoiled attempt at a love poem. "Oh, Milla..." He rested his head on the table. "I miss Adras," he thought suddenly. "He would find this all quite funny."

...

"Hiding again, was he?" It was Ebbitt who spoke. Malen nodded in reply. Ebbitt chuckled. "It's a shame he has me for a great-uncle, if undetecta-billity is a wanted ability. Schmility, Willity... Hmm..."

Malen was used to Ebbitt's strange mannerisms, but often wondered how he did manage to pull off such simple feats such as always finding Tal. Crones had great knowledge, it was true, but it seemed this man did as well. If not a bit bizarre.

"Well no matter. It's one day's time now, as the Icecarl flies. Which is actually quite fast, I came to discover in my time with them. Did you know that..." Malen sighed, eyes glancing over her shoulder in search of an escape route.

Ebbitt was quite long-winded about his discoveries on the ice. Or anywhere else.

_Why must _I _explore the Seventh Tower with him? _Malen wondered. She sighed.

...

Milla's ship had arrived at the Ruin Ship, and Milla herself had just arrived in the presence of the Ruin Ship's Mother Crone. For a second she was taken aback – she did not like that look in the old woman's eyes. Well, no one really _liked _the strange eyes, though they got used to it, but that's not what Milla perceived now. They were too... knowing. Mischievous. _Could a Crone _be_ mischievous?_ Milla wondered.

"Greetings, Milla Talon-Hand. War-Chief of all Icecarls." Milla clapped her fists in salute.

"Greetings, Mother Crone." Milla looked again, and the look was gone from the woman's eyes. Back to the normal milky surface.

"We entrust you again with the peace of our people and our world. You have not led us astray. We know you will do well."

"Thank you," Milla replied, bowing her head slightly. She had done her best to serve her people well.

"Do you have any questions for us, War-Chief?"

"I don't think so. It should be a fairly routine visit. Ta– The _Emperor _and I will resolve the issues with the treaty."

The Crone smiled, but barely. "I will send with you the Shield Mother Raysa who was present at the trial of the rebels." The woman motioned towards a battle-hardened Icecarl beside her who nodded her greeting and clapped her fists in respect. Milla returned the sign, assuming this must be Raysa. "Also, we will be in contact with Malen of the In-Castle Embassy. You may also take your assistants with you. Together you should all know enough about what must be done with the treaty."

"Thank you, Crone Mother."

This time the old Crone did smile. "Do not look so grave, Milla Talon-Hand. These are peaceful times now. Happy times." Milla nodded, but did not smile. The Crone went on. "A cadet will show you to your rooms."

"Thank you." They clapped their fists again. Milla turned towards Kurrsa and the cadet, and headed through the gold metal walls to their rooms. Despite Milla's powerful position, she spent too much time abroad to have any permanent dwelling in the Ruin Ship. Yet.

One sleep, thought Milla. _Do not be so nervous!_

Before she fell asleep the thought of her impending visit with Tal crossed her head once more. It is a good thing Icecarls counted breaths, and not heartbeats, because at that final thought her heart skipped one. She did not notice.


	3. On Friends and Politics

If anyone is reading this, please take a second to leave a review, even if it's only so I know that SOMEONE else has read the Seventh Tower books! Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Seventh Tower.

Chapter Three: On Friends and Politics

Tal had made his way to his imperial quarters. He decided he might as well sleep there for the night. He thought it best to appear very _imperial_ to the arriving Icecarls, besides Milla, and he guessed they would not want to wait half an hour for him to crawl up from his hidden solitude in order to greet them in the welcome hall, then lead them to his chambers. He also needed to show the sometimes doubting Icecarls that he did indeed hold power and authority.

It was the tenth hour of the night by his Sunstone, though of course no darker than usual outside the castle. The boy had taken Malen's advice and attempted to make himself a bit more presentable for the Queen of the Ice, but there was no disguising the fact that he had lost sleep. He was also quite certain he would get next to none tonight.

All this political business, and all he could think of was a girl. A beautiful, fierce, proud, warrior girl.

He sighed, something he seemed to have been doing an awful lot lately. He almost sighed again in realization of this, but stopped himself in fear of being extremely depressing and rather redundant.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

The door opened, and a young girl Tal's age or a bit younger stood on the other side, carrying a tray with a plate and two steaming glasses. She wore simple robes of the Blue Order, and a dimly glowing blue-green sunstone on a ring at her finger. Her dark hair fell neatly to her shoulders, and her robes, while fairly traditional – though the standards on uniforms and such were more lax than they had been – revealed her upper chest and a sunstone pendant that lay gently atop it. "Your refreshments are ready, sir."

"Thank you Aeya." He got up from his bed and motioned towards a seating area across from it. "Come in for a minute, if you want." The girl nodded and entered, setting the tray down on the table in the center of several pieces of furniture and selecting a cushioned chair to sit in.

Aeya was one of his personal servants, though the word "servant" did not necessarily accurately describe her job, or the job of others like her. For one thing, the girl had become Tal's friend, as Malen or the Freefolk were. Also, and most importantly for the new regime, she was a Chosen herself. After the Underfolk had been freed, a system of actual jobs had been set up in the castle. The Chosen had to cook for themselves, and all had mandatory shifts in the dining halls. Aeya was one of the handful of Chosen and former Underfolk that personally served the Emperor. Times like tonight when Tal needed a little something to eat or drink after hours, he called upon Aeya, whose company he also enjoyed.

Had he not been so enthralled in his thoughts of Milla, he would have noticed how much she enjoyed his. Or how beautiful she was.

Her robes did indeed have all the proper markings of her order, but fell a bit shorter than the traditional ones did. This, combined with the low-cut top, her soft, gentle eyes, and her slightly flushed cheeks would be more than enough to catch the eye of most young men Tal's age.

But to Tal she was only a good friend, the closest thing to a best friend he could have as the Emperor – besides, of course, his family. Most of the people he had met since becoming somewhat a hero and the Emperor were officials, politicians, etc. They were all technically under him – but all older than him. Thankfully this had caused no problems – though Tal had the sinking suspicion that his father had intervened at one point with some particularly rowdy Chosen that had greedy plans to overthrow the young emperor.

None of that matters now, Tal thought. He was 18 years old, and growing into a man.

He hadn't learned nothing while ruling half the world.

"You look tired." Aeya said simply as Tal took a seat across from her and reached for his glass of hot tea. Something soothing, he thought, hopefully it would ease him into sleep.

He gave a weak smile in reply. "I haven't been sleeping well. Or much."

The girl was quiet for a moment. "You want to talk about it?" she asked carefully. While they _had_ become friends as well as they could, the two obviously had a strange relationship. He being emperor and she working for him serving food and drink. _She _had plenty of free time to spend with friends, but certainly he did not.

Tal gave her another sad half smile. "A lot on my mind." The girl nodded.

"I can tell."

Tal then began to struggle with the internal battle he had had many times before – to tell or not to tell? The part of him that waged secrecy seemed to have outlasted the part of him that wanted to scream to the world of his affliction, thus far, as he had told no one. Perhaps bottling it up inside had not been good for his health, however; – he felt like a spiritshadow in a shadowsack. Indeed, Tal had told no one, and liked to tell himself that no one knew of his feelings for Milla.

But of course he couldn't lie to himself all the time, certainly not anymore. Ebbitt and a few others, including Malen, had become more and more open as of late in regards to their comments about the two leaders. Thankfully, Tal did not think the man had made such comments to Milla.

"I'm sure you've heard about the amends to the treaty tomorrow?"

Not to tell.

The girl nodded. "A bit. I heard a bit about some crazy Icecarls, too. That's what started this whole thing?"

"Yeah," Tal replied. "It's a bit frustrating, I guess, having half the people in the Castle not trust me, and half the people on the ice not trust Milla."

"Milla," Aeya began. Tal swallowed hard. He had meant to say "the war-chief." "You'll be glad to see her?"

Tal looked into space and opened his mouth slightly, looking for the right words. The sharp girl noticed his hesitation, but said nothing. "Of course. She is a great leader and an old comrade." Aeya nodded, sipping her tea. She did not respond, but instead waited for Tal to go on. "She is always welcome in the Castle."

_Well played, Emperor_, Aeya thought. She drained the last of her cup and set it down with a "clink." "That's good. I think this peace is a good thing."

"So do I," Tal agreed, nodding. He let out an inner sigh of relief – he'd dodged that red ray. Though, he did feel slight guilt about not being honest with his friend. She was one of the only people in his crazy new world that took the time to be friends with him, rather than drill him with questions or bombard him with requests.

"Though I still sense much distrust between the two peoples. The Chosen – sorry, the people of the Castle – and the people of the Ice. If it's not too bold for me to say..."

"No, you're right," Tal assured her.

"They need... a symbol," Aeya went on, but then began to shake her head. "I shouldn't be saying this..."

"I don't mind." Tal did not find his friend out of place giving him advice as prior Imperials may have.

"I know. That's not what I mean though. I guess, I just don't know too much about ruling."

"Well," Tal grinned, as sincerely as he could in his mentally distressed and worn down state, "Your advice is welcome. It's not easy doing it alone, you know."

The girl laughed quietly, then went on. "Well, I think the people all need a symbol of how our two peoples are truly together now. More than just a treaty on a piece of paper. I mean, no one here lives on the ice, and no one but the Crone Embassy lives in the castle from outside. We may be at peace, due to a common former enemy, but we do not yet understand each other."

Tal sipped his own tea, thinking about this for a moment. After a pause he spoke. "You are right. I agree with this, the people _don't _understand one another. I've been to the ice and I still do not fully understand. Integrating the two cultures further would bring more change, however, change that people are already afraid of. Look how many oppose the changes that have already taken place." Aeya nodded in acknowledgment of this fact. "Perhaps with a little more time and a little less rioting, the people will trust myself and the war-chief. I'm sure things will work out."

Aeya smiled. The boy had always been confident, despite any difficult situations he may be in. They'd spoken often about his adventures in the defeat of Sharrakor. Aeya had shared with him her own private adventures in the Castle, but they paled in comparison.

She must admit, she was impressed by the Emperor of the Castle.

The two spoke a few more words, but then Aeya left respectfully. She knew Tal must get his rest, and she needed her own as well. She took the tray as the two said their farewells, and left him.

She left him alone with his thoughts of Milla.

He checked his sunstone. 11:00. He was to meet her at 8:00 in the morning. That gave him nine hours to do the only thing he could think of: write.

_Impending dawn, for which I wait_

_The time without is what I hate_

_Without my love, without I am_

_I long to see your face again_

_And in the morn we meet at last_

_This night could never pass too fast_

_And in the morn we meet again_

_Will you complete all that I am?_

The young emperor sighed. He could scribble down his thoughts, but still nothing ringed out perfectly to him. He was searching still, for the perfect words.

_I still have a week, _he told himself. Milla would be staying for a week.

And when the King of the Mountain of Light was not waging peace, he would be waging war with his thoughts. Trapping them, perfecting them, and putting them into words.

Tal settled into an uneasy sleep.


	4. Frail Dreams and Forgotten Messages

If anyone is reading this, please take a second to leave a review, even if it's only so I know that SOMEONE else has read the Seventh Tower books! Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Seventh Tower.

Chapter Four: Frail Dreams and Forgotten Messages

_Drift across the endless space..._

_Long for a familiar face..._

_Void into the unknown space..._

_Life can leave you with distaste_

_Fall through blackest night too far..._

_Hope comes in the form of stars..._

_Escape from dark, these points of light..._

_Reminders that you're slave to night_

Tal was drifting. He drifted through thoughts, through his perception, through time as he knew it. Through darkness

_Numb into the blackest night_

_Falling down and telling truth_

All was cold and dark, though he could not exactly see or feel. But he _knew, _he knew what was unfolding before him. He was falling, falling forever off the Red Tower under the darkness of the Veil. But there was no shadowguard to save him, no light from his sunstone.

Nor was there a ground.

_Fight until the face is white_

_Bloodless and now without use_

Around him were swirling images, though again they could not be exactly seen as that. Sounds, but sounds that were not heard by his ears.

_Lying never came so hard_

_A point to prove that slaves you are_

The Far-Raiders ship. Himself, climbing the mast to tune the sunstone. All going black.

_Distrust streams from cuts in wrist_

_Blood was never meant to mix_

Suddenly he was by Milla, though somehow he was also still falling. The Crone was cutting their wrists, mixing their blood. Their blood took to the wind.

_By this fate our scars are made_

_Blood to wind two drops of rain_

They were in Aenir. Tal and Milla stood together, looking into one another's eyes.

Their cuts had been re-made, their bond re-forged.

They defied the Storm Shepherds together.

_Distrust streams from trust renewed_

_An oath, a vow, a shadow used_

Milla was running from him. They were no longer in Aenir. They were somewhere on the ice, and to Tal she now appeared as she last had to him. She was running, and it was light, though they must have been under the veil. Tal could see her, barely, and she had no shadow.

_War that leads you to betray_

_At the sight your hand is stayed_

He kept chasing her, but he could not catch her. She kept getting further and further away, but never too far to be out of sight. Always a hope...

_Confession falls upon deaf ears_

_Justifying all my fears_

They were in the castle. Tal had just confessed his love to her, but she was shocked. He was embarrassed. She had denied him outright.

_Live for nothing all these years_

_Hope's been cast out to the ice_

_On which my love has stayed too long_

_I give myself up to the night_

All was dark.

...

Tal awoke from his uneasy sleep, not knowing what he had dreamed. Not knowing exactly, but remembering how it felt. Cold. Despair.

Her. Losing her.

He was sweating. The boy got out of bed and walked across the dark room to his wash room. As he entered he called forth a bit more light from the dim sunstones set in the ceiling. He stared at his bloodshot eyes in the mirror, then washed his face. The chill of the water served to break through a bit of the fear caused by the nightmare.

It was just a dream, Tal told himself.

He checked his sunstone – it was three in the morning. Five hours.

"Five hours." Tal said aloud, to no one but himself. He stared into his own eyes in the mirror again, but this time he was not merely examining his health. He was challenging, challenging himself.

Tal looked and saw all that he had been through. All the pain and labor he had endured. From facing his fears when he was trying to get a sunstone. Falling off the Red Tower. Surviving the Icecarls and returning to the Castle. Going to Aenir time and again, the last time defeating Sharrakor. Ruling half the people in the world.

"Five hours," he said again, quietly. "I will be ready."

_"You have a strong head, Tal," _his father had once told him as they sat around a Beastmaker table. _"And a strong heart, too. You're a bit quick tempered and thick-skinned..." his father was smiling, "but you are quick to justice and strong in your will." _

_Tal had nodded. He was not used to people penetrating his mind so easily, even his father. _

_"Your specialty, son. Your specialty is love." His father was absolutely serious, almost grave at the importance of what he was trying to teach his son. "Use it." _

Why his father's words came to him now he did not know. At the time it had simply made him uncomfortable, until his dad quickly got him to laughing again around the Beastmaker board with his ridiculous creature. But it was clear now to Tal what he had meant.

"My specialty is love." Tal repeated aloud. "Love. For Milla."

_"Use it."_


End file.
